Don Papa Collector Edition

Review by Lupo Alberto

So, this 'Rum' is one of the best-selling rums in the world, has a beautiful bottle reminiscent of pirate times and a very inviting label, where a nice "Aged in Oak" and "Small Batch" stands out; it has a nice amber yellow color. Great. End of review. How. The Rum review is missing? Why, is this a Rum? How do you delude a Customer that this is a Rum aged in small batches in oak barrels (a heavenly image, flanked perhaps by a smiling Bacchus centering it), when instead it looks more like cough syrup? I could understand if they had put "(heavily) flavored Rum" on the label, but not so! Already on the nose it is intrusive, with penetrating and cloying odors, enough alone to cause you diabetes. But it is on tasting that it gives its worst, pardón, best. If you have ever tried the classic "Rum and Coke" made with cheap Coke and bad Rum, you will already have a good idea of what to expect. Truckloads of sugar and vanilla will assault your mouth, kneading it worse than expired gum. The liquid (don't let me call it Rum!) will not slide pleasantly down your throat, but will bitterly pave your oral cavity, leaving you with a sweetish taste that won't go away even with bleach. Personally, I think this 'thing' was designed at the drawing board by the Dentists Anonymous Association. The chocolate to go with it? Maybe a bicarbonate tablet. And I've said it all.